Things I've Said to Tootsie Recently

If you met him you'd understand.

"You're in a tuxedo. Act like it"

"You're the size of six cats, Tootsie. Six cats"

"Tootsie, you know what I love about you? You're an honest bitch"

"Sometimes you're a little too floppy, Tootsie. Sometimes you're a little too floppy"

"You smell like a panda"

"My skunk. My perfect flower"

"This time, just shut the fuck up. You fat pumpkin bear"

"You're not a cat, Tootsie. Don't lie to me"

"You’re my owl baby. Owl baby. Say you’re my owl baby. SAY IT! SAY IT! Okay"

"Tootsie how dare you sit like that, you fucking penguin"